Latest check-in

Published on 26 November 2024 at 16:46

It's been a little bit since I've checked in.

The Lord has led me in a different direction for the past few days which has taken me off the radar.

Where am I?

Sill, by the grace of God, with God.

Right now, as more has been asked me, more has been stripped of me, more has needed to be released,

I am a blank canvas for the Lord to draw on. My life is His to create "ex nihilo", out of nothing.

When I think about my naivety in this journey with the Lord, I can't help but to shake my head and laugh.

I believed when I took that major step of faith and left everything behind, that my promised land was right on the other side.

I didn't realize that it would take me on the path of being without a home, job, money, at times my car, a companion, friends and life as I knew it.

I have been emptied out for Jesus.

Reflecting on this year of isolation and perceived lack, I just keep thinking about all of the hopefulness, striving, efforting, crying out, forcing, abandoning, tuning away and returning to, that I did.

My body, heart and soul pushed to its breaking points and beyond all with the hopes of one day, one day.

I've broken and healed. I've cried tears of sorrow and tears of joy. I've seen God's wrath and God's blessings. I've known His sweet love and His discipline and chastisement.

All I have experienced knowing I was safely tucked away in His refuge.

He has been my fortress, my father, my friend, my husband, my provider, my trainer, my counselor, my mentor and life coach, my comforter, my biggest supporter.

He truly is the lover of my very soul.

Today, I rest in contentment, in Him.

I cannot force myself out of this season.

I cannot apply a formula

I cannot manipulate.

I cannot modify or adjust.

I cannot give up nor remain stagnant in hopes of ending this season.

My only option is to keep moving forward, trusting the Lord.

I'm in waaay to deep.

I've stepped out of the boat and the boat has longed went back to shore.

I have walked so far with Jesus that there is nothing but open water in sight.

It is my memories of what was, the deposits of what may be that make the expansive open water uncomfortable.

Will I ever be ok with the vast nothingness of Jesus and I?

Will I ever be able to let the world fall away to simply enjoy Him and I alone?

For now, I know my only job is to allow Him to paint His canvas that is me, that is my life as He desires.

Maybe it will be one day, maybe a decade, maybe a lifetime.

What choice do I have?

When given the choice I always come back to my senses and choose Him.

So where am I?

Still following Jesus. Still hopeful that my promise land is just right there; closer than it's ever been.

I believe that I will be all that God called me to be and do all that God has called me to do.

I am holding onto a word- I make it.

From Jesus:

Jennifer settle into this new space with me and just keep walking forward with me step by step day by day and you will have a life you have always dreamed of and even beyond. Trust me. I got you.

Question of the day

When is the last time you've done a check in?

Take some time to grab a piece of paper and check in with yourself and Jesus.

Scripture

Don't stop believing!!

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Matthew 21:22

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Romans 10:17

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Mark 11:22-24

And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.