Lately, I've been feeling lost at sea.
In times past, I felt like I was going somewhere; like I was moving in a certain direction.
The excitement of the new kept me going.
What I thought would be a short distance, has far outlasted anything I would ever imagine.
It is like someone finding themselves suddenly shipwrecked on an island.
With all hope, vigor, strength and faith, they are determined to get back to where they once were.
They have difficulties finding a means, but they work day and night to craft it.
They set out to sea. They endure the initial expected rough patches.
They make it through high winds and storms.
They learn how to survive on the food available at sea.
They learn to live on the sea without comforts, but with necessities.
But after months of being at sea, then what?
When after all your work, you still have not arrived.
When you see nothing around you to give hope.
When you have done everything, you have been shown to do, but to no avail, then what?
You know you must keep going
but your strength has gone,
your hope has waned,
your motivation has tanked,
and you cannot possibly see yourself once again gearing up to do again and again what has already failed.
In your shame of having months, even years passed with nothing to show for it but
your presence in the expanse of the ocean,
will make you question,
should I have even set out for travel to begin with?
Even more so,
the thought of having to rev up once again to put in the same effort to make progress is so unappealing
that it leaves one to retreat into spending their last days
at rest on the boat.
I hear whispers in my soul to get up and try again
but all I would try again have failed miserably, in rejection, loss, embarrassment, humiliation and shame.
Yet, here I am.
I don't know where this season of my life goes or how even to get there.
I am in the deep waters and see nothing before me or even behind me.
To add, satan is fighting with all that he has to stop the vision of who I am to become and what I am to do from manifesting.
I cannot win this battle, but the Lord can.
So, I surrender to Him once again, because it is the only thing left to do.
Not because it is what I want, but it's because it is what He wants;
and because I love him, I will obey.
Holy Spirit:
Jennifer,
I am not asking you to figure out anything. You do not have to know where you are going, how you are going to get there or when. I know you are uncomfortable in your current circumstances. I know you feel alone. I am with you Jennifer every moment of every day. I have not left your side. Each day, I am asking you to get up and do what you know to do, nothing more, nothing less. You have always followed my lead each day. Continue to follow my lead each day. Stop letting your feelings lead and let my spirit lead. Soon you will not only find yourself once again on dry land, but on holy ground that is your full promise. Just wait and see. Take it moment by moment; day by day and soon you shall see the glory of the Lord.
Question of the day
Have you faced the truth about yourself today?
Take some time to explore the truth of where you are today and bring that before the Lord and let Him lead you into truth; into Him.
Scripture
Job
23 Then Job replied:
2 “Even today my complaint is bitter;
his hand[a] is heavy in spite of[b] my groaning.
3 If only I knew where to find him;
if only I could go to his dwelling!
4 I would state my case before him
and fill my mouth with arguments.
5 I would find out what he would answer me,
and consider what he would say to me.
6 Would he vigorously oppose me?
No, he would not press charges against me.
7 There the upright can establish their innocence before him,
and there I would be delivered forever from my judge.
8 “But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
10 But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
11 My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.
12 I have not departed from the commands of his lips;
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.
13 “But he stands alone, and who can oppose him?
He does whatever he pleases.
14 He carries out his decree against me,
and many such plans he still has in store.
15 That is why I am terrified before him;
when I think of all this, I fear him.
16 God has made my heart faint;
the Almighty has terrified me.
17 Yet I am not silenced by the darkness,
by the thick darkness that covers my face.
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