Moving Forward

So, where I am today with the Lord? What is my truth?

At this moment, I understand that God is the only way; that following Jesus is the only option that I have.

As much as I have fought it, back slid, ran and asked for outs in a more than one way, in every way I could imagine when times get uncomfortable, I have come to accept that I have been chosen. There is no turning back. The only option is forward.

Today, as I got out of my bed in obedience to the time God woke me up- 3:30 a.m., I spent the day with my ear to the sound of the Holy spirit asking, "what was I to do now?"

Today, I felt like I was back in right standing with the Lord. It wasn’t because I did everything just perfectly. I simply spent the day submitted to the Lord, seeking His will and doing my best to honor it. The Lord’s response? He spent the day instructing me on the steps to take, not in a tyrannical "do as I say, I’m the boss" kind of way. It was gentle; yet, authoritative in that it had the compassion of understanding where I am currently, where I had been and where we need to go with the time approaching soon.

I feel less resistance. The fight has left. I feel more than at peace but a leaning into the next steps.

I have softened my heart to God and opening it back up to deepening relationship wherever that may lead.

I don’t know where God is leading or how long it will take to get there. I don’t know if there is another “rock bottom” that I have yet to uncover- maybe the others were just “false bottoms”. I don’t know how or when God will repair this shipwreck of my life that appears to be sinking rapidly in many ways but progressing in others. 

I pray it’s not long. I pray I get it right. I pray that God's written and spoken word manifest in my life so that I may see it soon. I pray that I can use it to help others. But most importantly, I pray that my children forgive me, understand me and have the courage to follow God for themselves. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

From Jesus-

It won't be long now. Keep going. Jennifer, you make it. YOU MAKE IT.  You are simply waiting on my timing. Know that it is perfect. Not a moment will be wasted. Just continue each day to seek Me and follow Me trusting that I will lead you daily further into destiny. You are in the palm of my hands. You are safe and protected in Me. There is nothing that is happening or that will happen that I am not aware of, have not already seen and could change in a moment in time if I deemed necessary. I am using it all to position and develop you. Do you trust Me Jennifer?

[Yes]

Then cast your cares upon Me and follow Me knowing that I will never leave you nor forsake you and My plans really are to prosper you and not harm you. Soon you will understand why, and you will be grateful for the light affliction and the journey we took together. I love you, my precious darling. No matter what, keep going. I am with you.