Submission

This morning I am up at 5 a.m. I am not up by my own desire to want to get an early start on the day. I dont have anything scheduled that I must wake up for. I am tired, my body is weak and achy and I feel sick. This is how waking up this early is making me feel. Most importantly, I have no reason whatsoever to be awake. Well there is one and it just happens to be the only one that matters …God said.

The Lord told me yesterday He wanted me to start waking up early so that He can spend time with me.

Mind you, I have 20 years of military service in which sleep was not a priority and waking up all hours of the night and even not sleeping at all in a 24 hour period was not uncommon. I longed for the days in my retirement that I would get to sleep in and waste the day. God had a different plan. To add, I am sleeping in my car these days which is actually an improvement from where I was.

Yet, I still agreed. Today as He woke me up at 5 a.m. I must honor the agreement. Everything in me fought getting up and staying up. God is teaching me in this season, the importance of the established agreement.

Lesson:

If we establish anything together and agree, it must be honored. Satan will try to disquise himself as the Holy Spirit or find other means to convince you that I am telling you to move contrary to what we have established. Ex: I tell you to fast for 3 days and then later you hear a voice that says you can 🛑 stop.

He is teaching me that He is not wishy washy or one that changes His mind so flippantly. It would make His word/instruction lose value and credibility. So if we have established something I MUST honor it. If is to be altered it needs to be done so in deep 🙏 prayer.

So I'm up. We are a far cry from 3 a.m. wakes-ups of the past but God wants me to get back to it so I'm on my way starting with this morning. So...I'm up.😡🤕🫨🫤🫡

I did a few gratitude statements, a couple of very short prayers, listened to worship music and now God has directed me to write so here I am.

Two things that this is highlighting is that I must get back to obedience and time with Jesus.

Obedience in that when the Lord says do I do. I realized over time I have drifted from coming under His full authority and Lordship. You would not be able to tell from the eye looking on the outside but I know my heart is not fully softened to the Lord and His instruction.

Being honest the “I”, the “self”, the flesh has crept in. I find myself not wanting to crucify it but to preserve it. This makes me consider instructions before I obey.

I have been through ALOT and understand how I got here. It’s been a long hard journey. But I still have a while to go and somewhere I have to get to at the time God desires me to get there. I must submit. I must return to my first love and surrender afresh completely coming under His Lordship. “I” am no longer. I have to be His.

So it begins today with the simple act of obedience-waking up at 5 a.m. Then asking the Holy Spirit what He wants me to do next. I kill my ambition for the day. I throw away my agenda, my schedule as I am reminded my life is not my own. It belongs to Him.

From Jesus

Jennifer this is exactly what I want. Submission. Come back under my authority. You have strayed. I know, it got hard. Now, come back. We have work to do. And the work requires you to do what does not feel comfortable or convenient. Let’s start getting back to embracing being stretched so you can continue to grow, crucify the flesh and deepen your trust in me. My good and faithful servant…serve.