The Push

I feel stretched today more than I ever have.

I feel like I am being pushed into the more, to becoming more, to navigating an unfamiliar landscape that I have never been able to enter into.

Why? Because of my desire for comfort, security, control and independence. Additionally, what limits me is my arrogance, ego and need to maintain image.

As much as I hate the push, I know I desperately need it. I am grateful for it, and I know it is the only way for my hearts desires to be fulfilled as uncomfortable as it is. I am really starting to appreciate it and just need to partner with the Lord.

I can feel the Lord’s help as He is refusing to let me fall back into old patterns by quitting and running.

It’s so wild that the Lord Himself is teaching me.

I must admit I have had moments where I feel like I am on the verge of sainthood and the next moment... flatlined.

My tendency is to checkout in the flatlining, but the Lord continues to show me if I can overcome the desire to stop and push through, I will live into the different existence and reality I have been daydreaming and praying for.

I just need to meet Him there. It's as though He knows the destination, moving in front of me but staying just out of reach so I can continue to move forward to reach Him.

Of course, Christ is in me but the more in Him needs to be accessed. I just have to learn the art of the push which has now become the new goal:

Become a friend of hard and suffering, look for it, surrender to it, push through it.

Lord help me.

From Jesus-

The opportunity is there Jennifer. The lesson is available to grab hold of. If you cannot endure and push through with what I have given you, how can you expect to do it when I release you into all that I have for you and the world depends on you? You must understand, I must make you like Me because the world will try to make you, their Jesus. You are the only way I will be able to access the hearts of many, so if we can become one, when they get you, they get me. Understand? {yes} Tell them.