I just had the most amazing discovery this morning as the holy spirit walked me through an understanding of testimony.
I recently received a request to give my testimony.
My initial thoughts were, I don't have a testimony to give.
I am in the midst of a process where I have partnered with God to be humbled before Him and allow Him to take me low. This is a partnership because there are many things I can do to fight against, take back control and resist but through the continual help of the holy spirit, I have surrendered to process.
In this seemingly low place, from a worldly perspective, I found little to testify about it. Why? Because I was looking at it from a worldly perspective.
What material items, home, car, status, relational status, job, money, appearance etc. would I have to brag about that would make people want to say, hmm it's worth it to try Jesus? I was, in fact, in a way worse position than many of them were in. I resigned to not having a testimony now but remaining in hope that one day I will.
When I think about my understanding of testimony and the current station of my life, I am embarrassed. It displays such a carnal, worldly mindset which I repent and forgive myself for.
Thank goodness I have, we have, the holy spirit to clear up such erroneous thinking.
The holy spirit brought me back to a definition I looked up days before on salvation.
Salvation
1-
a: deliverance from the power and effects of sin
b: the agent or means that effects salvation
c: the realization of the supremacy of infinite Mind over all bringing with it the destruction of the illusion of sin, sickness, and death
2-
: liberation from ignorance or illusion
3-
a: preservation from destruction or failure
b: deliverance from danger or difficulty
I was reminded that we testify of our salvation. Salvation is not based on anything we can hold in our hands in a tangible way. It is not the worldly markers of success I was holding onto. It is deliverance from the grip of sin. We are saved from the grips of the enemy. Jesus Christ took on our sin on the cross. He was the sacrifice for our sin so that we may be forgiven and reconciled unto God. His ministry was founded on the message of reconciliation with God and man. We receive God through Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit and are joined as one to spend an eternity with.
When I looked over my past life and how dark, evil and empty it was and I was in comparison to where I am now, I see the fruit of my salvation.
My list of sin back then cannot be quantified. My eagerness to sin; my disregard for sin, my ease of sin, my joy of sin looking back is shameful and saddening.
I was so ignorant to the fact that I was being used as instrument of sin to kill, destroy, steal and devour through the lies of the enemy in my own life and the lives of others by my very own hands.
Through the help of the holy spirit, I am no longer the same!!
Addiction, hate, darkness, sabotage, self-destruction, pure evil no longer rule in my life.
I have been delivered from the power of sin in my life and I AM NEVER GOING BACK!!!
HALLELUJAH!!!!!!
I have been saved!!!
What rules in my life is the light, is love, is the holy spirit.
It is not to say that I am sinless. It is to say whenever tempted to sin, there is a way of escape provided and I am not ruled by it.
If I ever fall short, it wont be for long. The holy spirit is in me to convict, lead me to repentance.
Sin is not a lifestyle nor is even a place to visit with intention, merely a speedbump that seldomly occurs.
I have a testimony.
And so do you!!!What is yours?
Don't let the enemy fool you into believing you can only testify to the things you receive that you can get from this world. No! You testify of your salvation which can only be given through Jesus Christ and through that He is magnified and gets the glory!
Thank you, Jesus, for not only salvation but for also returning me to the joy of it.
From Jesus:
You have a great testimony Jennifer. You are not the same. You are a new creature in Me. I am proud of the work you have allowed me to do in you. Now go, share it with the world so I can do the work in them too. Do not be ashamed of your process. Your process is birthing a masterpiece and soon you will testify to it being good that you were afflicted. One day, you will see, soon.
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